I write for no one but myself. Writing is a form of accessing the hidden, and keeping things hidden. In a society, especially as a woman of colour, nothing is truly mine. But my written words, hidden from view, are mine.
The words I write privately are shielded from obligation, judgment, expectation. There is something thrilling, delicious, satiating, precious that I can create something that is only for me; that I know something that is unknown, and that something does not need to be explained, justified, earned, shared, evaluated, or accounted for. In this way, writing is subversive and dangerous; writing is hearing the Shadows, writing is accessing the Unseen.
I write as a response to be me.
I write to discover an ever changing me.
I write to covertly rebel against expectations of who I am.
When I write, I can take no prisoners.
I write to shapeshift. Writing is Chaos Magick.
When I write, I am her; when I write, I am not her.
When I write, I am here; when I write, I am not here.
When I write, I am God, and I am Devil.
When I write, I am Mother, and I am Not.
When I write, I am faithful, and I am faithless.
When I write, I am Witch, Bitch, Slut, and All the Nasties.
When I write, I am no longer me, so I can return to who I am again.
I do not consider myself 'good' at writing. And that is precisely the point; a liberation from production, performance, and perfection.
Instead, I can relax, let go, and allow myself to be swallowed up in fullness, gripping the edges in pleasurable overwhelm, exploration what Yin holds for me.
In other words, when I write, I play and rest. I return, return, return, return.
Would you join me for the upcoming WRITING WITH SPIRIT Retreat from January 21-24, 2022 on Bowen Island?
More info HERE.
Mimi
Mimi Young
Founder, Wu shamanic occultist